Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
