Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
