i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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