I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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