No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
