can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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