Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
