So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
