I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
