Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
