Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
