I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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