we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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