Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
