Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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