Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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