birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
