I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
