Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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