i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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