What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have demons in me.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
