you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
