My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
