well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
