if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
