I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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