allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize