oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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