if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
