You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
