I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
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Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
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The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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