Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
