guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
