So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
