My room smells like vodka and shame
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize