I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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