Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
