i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
