is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
