please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
we should paint friendship bongs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize