Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
