"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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