I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
