she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize