Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
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He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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