Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
