I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
