dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize