Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
