I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize