I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
