the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have aggressive nipples.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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