The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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