youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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