yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
