What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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