is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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