when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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