what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
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My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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