it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
