I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sorry about my life...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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