I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
