I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
