how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
