is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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