I showed him my bush... on skype.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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