Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
