Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
