why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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